Do you need an emergency fry?
Amongst redwoods and string lights I had dinner with a couple old colleagues and their families this past weekend.
The adults gabbed while the kids explored. Before we knew it, one kid fell and tears inevitably flowed. As expected, the parents ran to comfort the toddler.
What I didn’t expect was his older brother, noticing his brother’s pain, promptly rushing over and urgently asking, “Do you need an emergency fry!?” while thrusting a freshly fried potato at his crying little bro.
I was shook.
🍟 An emergency fry!? Adorable and brilliant. 🍟
Who doesn’t want someone to rush over with an emergency fried treat when we’re upset?
Promptly, my friend and I decided that ‘emergency fry’ is our new code word for when we need an 8-minute friend. Feel free to steal it.
Days later, what stuck with me is that the older brother’s fried offering was a wonderful act of compassion. He felt the sadness and pain for his brother, but instead of just standing by, he took action.
As compassion expert Kristin Neff says, “Empathy becomes compassion when we ask, ‘how can I help this person?’”.
We talk about the importance of empathetic leadership but when we really need is more compassionate leadership.
Compassion means to ‘suffer with’. So the first step to be with someone when they're struggling is to tap into empathy. To connect to the emotions they’re experiencing.
However, anyone can feel empathy but do nothing about it, still leaving the one suffering to feel alone. What makes a difference is when we bring kind, thoughtful action to our empathy.
Compassion = Empathy + Kind Action
Right now a lot of employees feel pretty miserable at work. They disengaged and frustrated at their companies. More action-less empathy won't make the day-to-day better but more compassionate leadership fueled by sharing emergency fries can.
In the work place this looks like:
🍟 After a particularly tough client meeting, you ping the presenter to see how they’re doing.
🍟 Your direct report worked late to support a big launch, you send a $5 Starbucks gift card.
🍟 A close colleague isn't themselves, you pull them aside and check in with them.
🍟 Your boss complains of a migraine, you offer to cover the call so they can rest.
🍟 Gathering your team after ominous news from leadership to see what questions they have even if you don’t have any answers.
Leading with compassion isn’t making grand gestures, it’s about saying yes to frequent, small acts of kindness that make others feel seen.
🍟 May our lives be full of compassionate leaders offering us emergency fries and may we be one of them.
Who will you share an emergency fry with to today?